I don't know how to reach out to you...
(without pain or frustration)
any other way than I have.
you seem so unresponsive unless I'm carressing you
enveloping you
you touch me ever so slightly and
I grow
pulsate
gain power
how can I call upon that power when I need it?
either my tactics need to change or I need you to be more responsive
I know I'm not always responsive to you either
I know
I try distance
space
indifference?
no
just space.
all it seems to do is to distance me from you
with no way of understanding
how I ended up on a winding path to the edge of nowhere.
ARGH!
remember when we were young to eachother?
even when we understood our connection with no boundries
or solid lines
no shape or color or taste
we just were
two empathetic bodies
moving through space
sharing energies
sending and recieving
transmitting
now it seems like we no longer care
even when we do!
more of a battle
than a bond
God I LOVE YOU!
even when I get confused
even when I get scared
especially when I'm terrified
when all the fear wells up to the point of self-destruction
it is you who lends me the strength
who holds me tight
it is your love that
screamspounds at me
"you are not alone!"
and my love for you that knows your pain and joy as my own.
we just seem to be becoming so different
difident
defiant!
why do we defy when we can enclose and envelope?
I know we can do this
whatever -this- is.
of that I have NO doubt